Are You Don’t-ing Yourself?
Have you seen Pinterest's latest tv ad campaign?
It's genius.
It's a set of four single-take films exposing some of the Inner Saboteurs that seek to hijack us:
Fear of Failure
Procrastinator
Judge
Inner Critic
The mantra of these four saboteurs is "DON'T DO IT!"
…you might fail
…you can do it later
…you haven't got what it takes
…you're not good enough.
Hats off to the ad creators (Uncommon Creative Studio) - they've managed to use comedy to effectively address a matter which affects many of us; our mental wellbeing and the thoughts which can hold us back.
AND they've engaged with an ongoing cultural moment – with the heightened awareness of mental health issues since the pandemic, and with World Mental Health Day coming up on Oct 10th.
It’s so great that mental health is becoming less taboo. As a teenager in the 1980s, I had a period of unwelcome, intrusive thoughts which nearly broke me. I had no idea what was happening to me. I thought I was either going mad or possessed by an evil spirit (all egged on by some unhelpful religious teaching). I’d never heard anyone talk about thoughts. And mental illness was only mentioned in hushed, embarrassed tones. No one named it. No one spoke about it. Thank goodness things are changing.
So how about you?
Do any of Pinterest's four saboteurs sound familiar to you?
You know the kind of thing - ranging from the thoughts that whisper quietly:
"Shhh...keep quiet...you might sound stupid if you say that."
"Just stick to what you know, it's safer."
...to the not-so-subtle thoughts that rear up when you’re getting close to trying something new:
"You can't wear that - you're too fat/thin/old!"
"You're ALWAYS getting this stuff wrong!"
And if they do sound familiar, what can we do about it? Because while the ads are amusing, the limiting effect of unhelpful thoughts is anything but amusing – potentially impacting our activities, our relationships, our career, even our sense of wellbeing.
First, a couple of facts that I find helpful:
My thoughts are just that - thoughts. They come. They go. They're not ME.
There's an area of my brain whose priority is to keep me safe - located in the limbic system. It wants me to avoid all risk. (Of course, some of our 'warning' thoughts are valid and rational. If I'm not sure, I usually talk it through with someone who knows me well.)
And here are my strategies for dealing with those tricksy saboteur thoughts.
They’re not aimed at anyone with a mental health diagnosis or undiagnosed condition. I’m not a psychotherapist or a neuroscientist. These are simply what work for me. They draw on the Acceptance Commitment Therapy approach. So here goes…
Notice it. Sounds easy, but it takes practice. Sometimes it helps to verbalise the thought aloud so I can 'hear' it. If I know it's a saboteur thought, I sometimes picture a ridiculous character (Homer Simpson or Donald Trump) saying it to me in a silly voice.
Observe it. Not for too long - I don't want to give it too much attention. Sometimes I picture it as a cloud, floating across my view from left to right, coming and then going. (If I have a recurring sabotaging thought, I might create space later to get curious and ask myself ‘What’s the root of that thought?’ I might counter it with a more logical, true thought - see ‘The Work’ by Byron Katie.)
Thank it. I say, “Thanks, I know you’re trying to keep me safe, but I’ve got this.”
Carry on. I do whatever I was going to do. I have that difficult conversation. I start that new project. I write that blog.
If you watch the Pinterest ads, you’ll see these strategies playing out in funny ways – a reminder that a healthy level of humour and nonchalance about our thoughts is good. They are, after all, just thoughts.
Another thing I find helpful is (almost) daily mindful meditation using an app called ‘Calm’ - others are available. This helps ingrain the habit of stopping, grounding myself in my body, noticing, observing and letting go.
Sometimes I find I’m so close to my own thoughts, that I need someone else to supportively challenge them – this is where having a coach can be useful. I need someone who will challenge my limiting thoughts, particularly when I’m reaching for something new.
In Summary
Next time you catch that saboteur thought saying: “DON’T DO IT!”
– notice it
- observe it doing its thing
- thank it
- let it go and carry on.
This stuff isn’t easy. But practice makes progress. I wish you well!
You can see the Pinterest ads here: Pinterest TV Ad Campaign 2022